March 2008
In the end, everything is exactly how it should be and you are always exactly where you should be which brings me to this exact moment. Slowly floating peacefully down the Mekong River. As if the rest of the world does not exist. Because thousands of mountain ranges separates here from the rest of the world, with nothing but endless mountains covered with forest trees and the random fishermans' scattered throughout the river leaving one to ponder the thought of where they came from and how they arrived. And how amazing and unbelievable of a sight where there's no sign of civilization that does not look harmonious with nature. Watching all the little kids run around naked and all the fisherman's wearing nothing more than a speedo, i realized how beautiful the human skin is and how well it blends with nature. For the first time in a long time, I feel alive. I'm not just another social security number or another voice behind the telephone, I'm not just another place in the endless lines or another random face in the crowd. But a living, breathing human being. A tiny but essential part of this world. I feel...like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time in my life. And...At this moment, every atom in my body is telling me that I'm exactly where I should be.
Wow, what an incredible world we live in! I feel so lost in it, i feel completely immersed in this world.
So first, the bad news...I lost my camera. I lost it without backing any of the pictures. So TWO thousand pictures. Four Countries...and endless memories are all gone. Only the pictures from this travel blog remains. But thats life and we will not dwell on the past or what we can not change. We will now move on to my adventure in Lao...
The way from Thailand to Lao is first on a bus which stops right on the edge of the Mekong River and then the other side is Lao. We crossed over on a Ferry and took care of all our visa information and then hoped on a slow boat to sail down the Mekong River. The boat fits about 50 people, everyone sits on VERY uncomfortable wooden benches, and it is a two day ride (with a stop in the middle to spend the night in a hostel) to Luang Prabang. Things to do on the boat...sleep (which is very hard since it is so uncomfortable), talk and meet people, drink Lao beer, and smoke weed. We did plenty of all four. We met this one guy who was born in Lao but escaped as a refugee 26 years ago and was visiting Lao for the first time since. He didn't even contact his family to tell them that he was coming back, he is just going to show up and surprise them. Sitting next to him, you can feel his excitement, regret, doubt, happiness...everything combined. I also met two professors from Singapore, one of which is working on a thesis about international development work. What we concluded after our two day long conversation? INTERNATION DEVELOPMENT DOES NOT WORK!!! anyways, we arrived in Luang Prabang two days later and it is a beautiful city, one of the UNESCO's world heritage sites. Temples...museams...and all the other touristy activities filled our day. The next day, I had to hop on the speed boat back to Thailand. But like all things in life, the speed boat was 2 hrs late. So I sat and had breakfast and the owner of the little shop, an old Lao man, sat down and started talking to me. We took two shots of Lao whiskey at 7 o'clock in the morning and talked about life. He told me about his family and how he use to be a school teacher, I told him about my adventures in Asia. At the end of the conversation, he looked at me in the eyes and said, when you come back to Lao, you will have family to visit." Pointed to his wife and his house and said, "and you will stay with us."
I am now back in Thailand in Pai with the couchsurfing collective. it was Casie (the founder of couchsurfing)'s birthday this week so we had a great big birthday celebration for him this weekend.
Take care everyone and I'm going to leave you with a couple of my favorite quotes from this trip.
"don't rob me of my misery."
"the race is long and in the end, its only with yourself."
"your choices are half chances."
"keep old love letters, throw away bank statements."
Laos and Thailand March 2008
Heres pictures from Lao, all from Douglas' (my traveling companion) camera. I've also downloaded some pictures of the collective housing.
Things are going great so far here. I started working at a bar called BeBop last night and had a GREAT time.
My boss is the most chillaxed person ever and my job pretty much consists of drinking and talking, two things that i'm very good at! We have three live bands play at the bar every night and its always amazing music. Living at the collective has been a crazy journey so far. I don't really have a real room so I kind of just end up sleeping anywhere and everywhere. Last night, I came home and built a fort and fell asleep outside under the stars in my FORT!
Meditation Retreat: Thailand: March 2008
Emptiness and Mindfulness, two things that the great Buddha taught so that we can all work to achieve Enlightenment. Was that my goal on this retreat? No, not even close. I feel that is still a goal far too extreme for someone like myself who's heart is still far from being calm. Mindfulness, now that's a more achievable goal, or at least i thought before i began this retreat.
After living in a communal living situation in Pai where I was constantly surrounded by 24 other friends, working at a Bar and coming home around 4 ever morning and then waking up at 11 or 12 the next day, i decided to do the complete opposite without giving much thought to how hard the whole process of adaptation would be. After searching for the perfect temple to meditate, i was directed to Doi Suthep, the heart, soul and pride of the city of Chiang Mai. It's a beautiful temple located on top of a hill isolated, yet completely sustainable.
While it is a good hour drive from the city on 360 degree curve roads, loads of tourists still find their way up there making Doi Suthep a little city of its own with book stores, gift shops and even its very own ATM (I must admit, it was my first time seeing an ATM in a temple and I'm not sure how i felt about it). Despite the massive commercialization that has happened to this temple, I decided to do my meditation retreat here anyways since it is the home of the International Buddhist Center and provided meditation programs with strict schedules and guidance. I even had my very own Buddhist monk teacher.
The Center focuses on Vippassana Meditation which believes that we need to focus on the present because the past has already happened (nothing you can do about it now) and the future has yet to happen (so no need to worry). Vippassana is meditation practice that requires one to focus on their present moment and to control the mind so that it is focused with the body on the present moment in a state of complete mindfulness. My daily schedule for the next four days looked something like this:
4:00AM Wake up
4:30 Meditation
6:30 Breakfast
8:00 Lesson on Buddhism
9:00 Meditation
11:00 Lunch (also know as "the last meal of the day so fit as much as you can in your stomach")
12:00 Meditation
3:00 Report to Teacher on your progress
6:00 Monk Chant
...more meditation until you can keep your eyes open anymore..
.
It was a silent retreat so added to the rigorous schedule was the inability to communicate with anyone else other than my teacher, no reading or writing, no music...nothing expect for myself... and boy is that SCARY! I think deep down inside we all have some great fear of our own inner thoughts...of ourselves. So the idea of sitting with myself with nothing to do, no one to talk to, and nothing to distract me for 4 whole days is pretty scary. Day 1 was something that resembled Hell. I woke up at 4 in the morning, even before the sun was up, and my first thought was "What the Fuck am I doing here?????" That emotion eventually went away but only after day 3. Day 3 was spent in a state of war. I finally had to face up and fight against my worst enemy, myself. As I laid in bed during my evening meditation, I suddenly felt a strong evil spirit enter the room, it was scarier than anything my mind could conjure up and at that point, I knew that I could either turn on the lights, find my Ipod and fall asleep listening to music, or I could face up to this monster. It's almost comical how scared we all are of our own inner demon. So I sat with that monster that's been living inside me that night and faced up to it for the first time in my life.
Overall, the experience was too short. They had to close the monastery because a group of Thai students will be using the area for the next month. If I had it my way, I would have stayed for at least 10 days, maybe even 21 days. For me, I felt like 4 days was only a chip off the iceburg, I had just dipped my toes in and found that maybe the water isn't so scary after all but I'm still not at the point where I can fully dive in and swim. But maybe next time, and maybe this was all that I was meant to experience for now.
In the end, everything is exactly how it should be and you are always exactly where you should be which brings me to this exact moment. Slowly floating peacefully down the Mekong River. As if the rest of the world does not exist. Because thousands of mountain ranges separates here from the rest of the world, with nothing but endless mountains covered with forest trees and the random fishermans' scattered throughout the river leaving one to ponder the thought of where they came from and how they arrived. And how amazing and unbelievable of a sight where there's no sign of civilization that does not look harmonious with nature. Watching all the little kids run around naked and all the fisherman's wearing nothing more than a speedo, i realized how beautiful the human skin is and how well it blends with nature. For the first time in a long time, I feel alive. I'm not just another social security number or another voice behind the telephone, I'm not just another place in the endless lines or another random face in the crowd. But a living, breathing human being. A tiny but essential part of this world. I feel...like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time in my life. And...At this moment, every atom in my body is telling me that I'm exactly where I should be.
Wow, what an incredible world we live in! I feel so lost in it, i feel completely immersed in this world.
So first, the bad news...I lost my camera. I lost it without backing any of the pictures. So TWO thousand pictures. Four Countries...and endless memories are all gone. Only the pictures from this travel blog remains. But thats life and we will not dwell on the past or what we can not change. We will now move on to my adventure in Lao...
The way from Thailand to Lao is first on a bus which stops right on the edge of the Mekong River and then the other side is Lao. We crossed over on a Ferry and took care of all our visa information and then hoped on a slow boat to sail down the Mekong River. The boat fits about 50 people, everyone sits on VERY uncomfortable wooden benches, and it is a two day ride (with a stop in the middle to spend the night in a hostel) to Luang Prabang. Things to do on the boat...sleep (which is very hard since it is so uncomfortable), talk and meet people, drink Lao beer, and smoke weed. We did plenty of all four. We met this one guy who was born in Lao but escaped as a refugee 26 years ago and was visiting Lao for the first time since. He didn't even contact his family to tell them that he was coming back, he is just going to show up and surprise them. Sitting next to him, you can feel his excitement, regret, doubt, happiness...everything combined. I also met two professors from Singapore, one of which is working on a thesis about international development work. What we concluded after our two day long conversation? INTERNATION DEVELOPMENT DOES NOT WORK!!! anyways, we arrived in Luang Prabang two days later and it is a beautiful city, one of the UNESCO's world heritage sites. Temples...museams...and all the other touristy activities filled our day. The next day, I had to hop on the speed boat back to Thailand. But like all things in life, the speed boat was 2 hrs late. So I sat and had breakfast and the owner of the little shop, an old Lao man, sat down and started talking to me. We took two shots of Lao whiskey at 7 o'clock in the morning and talked about life. He told me about his family and how he use to be a school teacher, I told him about my adventures in Asia. At the end of the conversation, he looked at me in the eyes and said, when you come back to Lao, you will have family to visit." Pointed to his wife and his house and said, "and you will stay with us."
I am now back in Thailand in Pai with the couchsurfing collective. it was Casie (the founder of couchsurfing)'s birthday this week so we had a great big birthday celebration for him this weekend.
Take care everyone and I'm going to leave you with a couple of my favorite quotes from this trip.
"don't rob me of my misery."
"the race is long and in the end, its only with yourself."
"your choices are half chances."
"keep old love letters, throw away bank statements."
Laos and Thailand March 2008
Things are going great so far here. I started working at a bar called BeBop last night and had a GREAT time.
My boss is the most chillaxed person ever and my job pretty much consists of drinking and talking, two things that i'm very good at! We have three live bands play at the bar every night and its always amazing music. Living at the collective has been a crazy journey so far. I don't really have a real room so I kind of just end up sleeping anywhere and everywhere. Last night, I came home and built a fort and fell asleep outside under the stars in my FORT!
Meditation Retreat: Thailand: March 2008
Emptiness and Mindfulness, two things that the great Buddha taught so that we can all work to achieve Enlightenment. Was that my goal on this retreat? No, not even close. I feel that is still a goal far too extreme for someone like myself who's heart is still far from being calm. Mindfulness, now that's a more achievable goal, or at least i thought before i began this retreat.
After living in a communal living situation in Pai where I was constantly surrounded by 24 other friends, working at a Bar and coming home around 4 ever morning and then waking up at 11 or 12 the next day, i decided to do the complete opposite without giving much thought to how hard the whole process of adaptation would be. After searching for the perfect temple to meditate, i was directed to Doi Suthep, the heart, soul and pride of the city of Chiang Mai. It's a beautiful temple located on top of a hill isolated, yet completely sustainable.
While it is a good hour drive from the city on 360 degree curve roads, loads of tourists still find their way up there making Doi Suthep a little city of its own with book stores, gift shops and even its very own ATM (I must admit, it was my first time seeing an ATM in a temple and I'm not sure how i felt about it). Despite the massive commercialization that has happened to this temple, I decided to do my meditation retreat here anyways since it is the home of the International Buddhist Center and provided meditation programs with strict schedules and guidance. I even had my very own Buddhist monk teacher.
The Center focuses on Vippassana Meditation which believes that we need to focus on the present because the past has already happened (nothing you can do about it now) and the future has yet to happen (so no need to worry). Vippassana is meditation practice that requires one to focus on their present moment and to control the mind so that it is focused with the body on the present moment in a state of complete mindfulness. My daily schedule for the next four days looked something like this:
4:00AM Wake up
4:30 Meditation
6:30 Breakfast
8:00 Lesson on Buddhism
9:00 Meditation
11:00 Lunch (also know as "the last meal of the day so fit as much as you can in your stomach")
12:00 Meditation
3:00 Report to Teacher on your progress
6:00 Monk Chant
...more meditation until you can keep your eyes open anymore..
.
It was a silent retreat so added to the rigorous schedule was the inability to communicate with anyone else other than my teacher, no reading or writing, no music...nothing expect for myself... and boy is that SCARY! I think deep down inside we all have some great fear of our own inner thoughts...of ourselves. So the idea of sitting with myself with nothing to do, no one to talk to, and nothing to distract me for 4 whole days is pretty scary. Day 1 was something that resembled Hell. I woke up at 4 in the morning, even before the sun was up, and my first thought was "What the Fuck am I doing here?????" That emotion eventually went away but only after day 3. Day 3 was spent in a state of war. I finally had to face up and fight against my worst enemy, myself. As I laid in bed during my evening meditation, I suddenly felt a strong evil spirit enter the room, it was scarier than anything my mind could conjure up and at that point, I knew that I could either turn on the lights, find my Ipod and fall asleep listening to music, or I could face up to this monster. It's almost comical how scared we all are of our own inner demon. So I sat with that monster that's been living inside me that night and faced up to it for the first time in my life.
Overall, the experience was too short. They had to close the monastery because a group of Thai students will be using the area for the next month. If I had it my way, I would have stayed for at least 10 days, maybe even 21 days. For me, I felt like 4 days was only a chip off the iceburg, I had just dipped my toes in and found that maybe the water isn't so scary after all but I'm still not at the point where I can fully dive in and swim. But maybe next time, and maybe this was all that I was meant to experience for now.
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