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Sicky sick

Sadness, life kicked me in the ass.  I've been extremely sick for the past couple of days.  I went to the hospital finally yesterday and had some blood and urine tests.  Don't have malaria.  Yay!  But do have a small virus so I'm on antibiotics now.

Will write soon when feel better.

living in the now

Is Mysore the place to get lost and never be found again?

I want to get lost.  So lost that I can't find my way home, so I'll be left a wonderer for the rest of my life.  

So this is my realization tonight.  I need some time off.  Some soul searching and detoxing. If we all live and die, begin and end in the same place.  Then what? What is the here and the now?  What is the here and the now that I'm missing?  Because I'm so focused on tomorrow.  I'm forgetting today.  Actually, I completely forgot to live in today.  Today, I thought about tomorrow all day.  So I've just wasted my today.  And if tomorrow I think about the day after tomorrow, then I'll have also wasted my tomorrow.  

Maybe today I just need to be.  I just need to sit here and feel my sit bones against the bed.  I need to sit and stop my mind from flying.     

"living in the present" thats the first step in yoga my friend said.  We sat on his roof and talked all night. Him and his friend are both Yoga teachers in Rishikesh.  They both traveled here to Mysore hoping to find a teacher of yoga philosophy to teach them something new.  For two weeks now they've visited almost every yoga school and yoga teacher, disappointed each time.  

"Yoga is changing."  He sighed.  "People are too focused on the money.  We are forgetting what the real yoga is."